Oh My What a Day

This morning went to church it was good
shared what this week has been like for me the cyps visits
I got down again
but found a lot of support from my friends there

In the middle of the service I got a text
I ignored it

after church I looked at the email

it was from the ex

He was suppose to bring D3 back to me this afternoon
He apparently is in another city :(
He wont be home until tomorrow

He has broken our court arrangement and this is all just revenge from last holidays when my car broken down and I wasnt able to get home for a week

I rang him and asked for the address so I could drive there and get D3 back
he has preschool and his care giver tomorrow
He refused to tell me
The exs excuse was that his father, aunty and cousins were having bonding time
they have had plenty enough time to do this
The ex had told me that he had gone there on Friday

B13nearly14 and I went to see a good friend
after an enjoyable visit
we decided to go to the exs house to see if he was in fact away

He lead me to believe that his father was with him
He wasnt, his father was at home and didnt know where he was
His father is sick and cant be left alone anymore
I asked if it was possible that the ex was in this other town and he said it wasnt
as his sister was in fact flying home from Fiji

After thinking about this on a side street
I decided to go to the police station
they couldnt help unless I was concerned about D3s saftey
I am going to ring the lawyer in the morning

In my opinion the ex is not out of town
and he lied to the police

Then on the way home
I had a little accident in the new car
I backed into another car :( Not major damage to their car and the driver was nice
I now have black paint on the rear bumper bar :(

B13nearly14 was a tower of strength to me this afternoon
bless him

tonight we watched "Flushed Away" and I had a few drinks :)
I so needed them after today

Last night

Got down again last night. Felt very sori for myself.

Is every negative thought from the devil???
If so he sure had a go again last night.

Was watching a romantic movie on TV it was good except it made me cry and cry and cry.

I dont think Ive ever been loved by a man properly. Not once :( Where he really cares, supports, respects and loves me for I am. :( :( :(
Im ok as I write this. Its sad and so not I wanted out of life.

I did manage to work through this eventually. God loves me in all those ways and more. I need to listen (I didnt have anything of this type) to more country or Christian music not upbeat stuff more hymns that express that love in soothing gentle ways.

I hummed some and even sang some gently to myself :)
Just as well you couldnt hear me :)

peace

Another thing thats happened recently

is that B13nearly14s grand dad came up and started with us for 4 days. Such an awesome person. Just as I have adopted my cousin as my mum, unbeknown to granddad I have adopted him as my dad :)

Anyways he came up and brought me this beauty. My old car had seen better days :)
I kept this quiet as I wanted to surprise my younger sister when I go visit her again. I went up to see her last holidays (about 3 months ago) after I hadnt seen her in years. However Im not good at keeping secrets from her. Shes very special to me :) :) :)

Granddad also brought me a fridge/freezer. Bless him.

So whats been happening????

Well as life has its ups and downs so are the days of my life :)

My cousin says its God pruning me. That process is hard sometimes.
Mind you no one ever said being Christain was easy
and He doing it for my own good :)
I am the clay He is the potter - mold me and make me this is what I pray
and Hold me close Lord while you do it

DOWNS
We keep getting visited by CYPS :(
over petty things really
these visits cause me to stumble and get depressed
However I am learning to go back to God faster and faster these days
He helps me sort out my feelings
And through Him and others realise I AM A GOOD MOTHER
I DO MY BEST

UPS
On Monday we are going to start correspondence home schooling
this will help heaps :)
Im looking forward to our new program too :)

In 25 days time we are moving :)
I have wanted to move since the beginning of the year
and we have found a nice place near by
we did have illusions of moving further out to the country however D3 has a life here in Napier and I really dont want to disrupt that
The new house is near a good school for when he is 5 :) One I have been interested in even before we came to the Bay
and in the meantime I can drive just a little further to take him to his favourite friend and care givers house. Kindy and playgroup remain about the same travelling distance :)



peace to you and yours :)

For my cousin

I have a wonderful cousin in the UK
shes like a mum to me :)

She doesnt like me saying that
However its how I feel and shes so supportive of me and my family
She loves me unconidtionally :)
I am blessed to have her :)

She was emailing me last night and said that she feels like shes not in the loop as well as she was when I was blogging last (5 weeks ago) actually I havent blogged very well this year at all. Shame on me. I do like writing. I am going to put all sorts of stuff on here. The ups and downs of my life.

I also like feedback. Its one of the reasons I have decided to start writing again regularly. Through feedback I know I will get your opinions. Be honest and write exactly how you feel it is friends. With these opinions I can order my life and the decisions I make better.

Look forward to this new experience again
Peace to you and yours